


Divine Intervention

by Mothsonfire



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Minor Body Horror, Prophecy, the mortifying ideal of being known by a god
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:07:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27881217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mothsonfire/pseuds/Mothsonfire
Summary: Traveler Con is... a lot.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	Divine Intervention

**Author's Note:**

> I don't write much, and obviously this is way out of date, and has been Jossed multiple times now, most notably by the Nein finding Caduceus's family, and by Cad's revealed asexuality/aromanticism. But I found it on my notes app and thought I'd share, if nothing else because I still want more Caduceus angst. Don't know if I'll ever finish it. Edited for formatting/typos, but not to catch up to canon *shrugs*.

Traveler Con is... a lot. Caduceus doesn’t know why he expected different, and he doesn’t resent the outright worship of another god so much as, it was just that everybody who worshiped the Traveler carried this chaotic energy that Caduceus struggled with. As a group, they dragged themselves back to the Xorhaus and he felt so drained. He had been traveling with the Mighty Nein long enough that he sometimes forgot that he had barely talked to anyone for about 20 seasons before they appeared in his grove, but, Traveler Con made it easy to remember. Nothing but crowds and that constant noise and the grins everyone wore that extended slightly too far and too sharp.

He sighs. He doesn’t understand a lot, but he usually gets people, and there he felt untethered. Surrounded by too many people and oddly alone again, whether from disassociation or sobriety. He gets now why Jester insists on milk. She doesn’t act like she is ever threatened by the Traveler, but what if she was just very good at hiding it? He can’t imagine the stress of it all. The Wildmother sees him but he isn’t... some avatar for her on Wildmount. There is a pressure, sure, a responsibility in that level of attention. He doesn’t ever want to be known like that.

He goes up to his tree on the roof and he prepares a cup of tea. He says a short prayer in the preparation, because he needs the grounding, wants the connection. He thinks of his aunt, who taught him to stir right twice before stirring once counterclockwise. He makes himself stop thinking about her. She has been gone for many seasons. Caduceus drinks his tea, and avoids thinking about his family, again.

He is tired, and he is avoiding the others. Sleep allows him to solve both problems. He might be depressed. He recognizes this from his cousin. Clarence slept so long and so hard. Did they bury Clarence? He doesn’t remember.

Caduceus sleeps.

Caduceus dreams. He sees his mother gather a fortunes worth of incense and oils and herbs. She attempts to Hallow the Grove. She is not in the Grove. Why can’t she return? She succeeds, at a cost. Oh Mother, her eyes are burnt out. His mother dies. Oh Mother, his mother died with no eyes.

Caduceus dreams. He see his aunt. She has residuum clutched in one hand. Her hand is black, burnt, curled into a claw. She is snarling at something, even bigger than her 6 foot 5 inches. She screams a word of power and conviction. Her eyes follow something as it shrinks rapidly in size. Did it melt? This act of power makes her eyes sink further into her fur. She goes cross eyed. Her enemy melts and Caduceus’s aunt dies, residuum in hand.

Caduceus dreams. His eldest sister, Clarabelle is so powerful. She has learned great secrets of the Wildmother. So great he cannot even imagine. He sees her open an intricately carved box and remove a scrap of cloth wrapped around something solid. A piece of wood? No, a bone. She prays for a moment and her eyes flash white. He vaguely recognizes her location. The tree in the wastes? She croaks and croaks. Something is working, but still. His sister dies.

Caduceus watches two more sisters, one more brother, his uncle, four cousins, one great-aunt, a great-grandfather, and finally, his great-great-grandmother all attempt the great spells and succeed, partially, and die, before he realizes what is happening.

_Gather the mistletoe, collected with a golden sickle, under the light of the full moon. Bring it to me. Pledge me a year, and another, and another. Make me a grove. I will triumph from there._

Caduceus wakes up and sobs, for the first time in his life, he cries without abandon. Is this destiny already passed or fate-chosen prophecy? Past or future? Are they all dead? They are all dead. He thought it would be worse for them to have rejected him and his excesses, but no, it is worse that they are dead. They left and they died. Oh, what he must do. She showed him a place, before it was all over. A place deep within the Savalirwood, within and under Molaesmyr. He knows where he must go.

He stands. He writes two notes, painstakingly. His common still isn’t fantastic. It takes him hours, forever hoping his companions don’t wake. He writes a note to Jester, for her and for the rest of the Nein. He places it on the dining room table, to be noticed as they come in for breakfast.

_Dearest Nein,_

_I have been called for a greater purpose. I apologize that I cannot assist you in all the ways I once promised. I love you dearly. Remember to cherish each other and be honest. It will earn you more friends then enemies._

_Your friend, Caduceus Clay_

He writes a second note, for Fjord. He places it on the doorknob of Fjords room, the first thing Fjord would spot before he left.

_Fjord,_

_I think I must die now. It isn’t fair, but it is the only way to make my families’ sacrifice worth anything. Please don’t tell the others. Let me make my gift to the Mother. I don’t want to die, but I guess I must. Do you remember when we discussed deception in nature? I suddenly wonder if I am being had? Is someone exploiting my crisis in faith? Pray for me, please. Maybe I’m just too stupid to tell any difference._

_I believe you will triumph over the serpent in your past. So long as you adhere to a general faith in Her. You are worthy and beautiful. You are the Captain of your own fate._

_Your friend, Cad_

Caduceus hesitates before he drops the letter at the foot of Fjord's door. She doesn’t just ask for a sacrifice from him, but also from those he might lead. His flock. He shakes himself. Fjord is no sheep. No goat. Caduceus is no shepherd of his friends. He has become arrogant. He leaves the Xhorhaus. He takes nothing with him.


End file.
